Dark web activity is very often focused on computer viruses. Sometimes, however, it takes a virus of another kind—biological—to remind us of the dark web’s original intended use, as a medium for anonymous communication between individuals, unimpeded by governments and geography. Undoubtably, many want to discuss COVID-19 on more secure channels, including those wishing to avoid Chinese state surveillance. Accordingly, we noted interesting patterns of discourse in secure messaging apps, such as Telegram, QQ, and Discord, as well as a spike in discourse on deep and dark web forums.